Dealing with infant bad moods and tantrums at 18 months

That’s right! Your little angel can suddenly turn into a screaming banshee often making you feel helpless and embarrassed. Whether you like it or not, your baby is going to scream, stomp his/her feet, maybe even try to get attention by banging his/head into furniture or doors or walls. But that’s what it’s all about. Getting attention.

My son is now almost 19-months old and is picking up new and improved tantrum techniques. There are days when he is an angel and we breeze through till the night most harmoniously, and then….sigh…..there are days when I wonder if modern science had developed enough to equip kids with a “mute” button. He was quite an angel till he was roughly 13-months. But as he got older and smarter, he realised that screaming or throwing objects around or hurting himself on purpose would catch our attention really quick. And if he did so in public, he would get our attention and get whatever it was that he wanted real fast!

I was angry and horrified! Is this what I’d given birth to? A screaming little terror!?! What was I to do? I mean, I couldn’t give in to his demands each time he screamed. And the worse thing was that each time he behaved so, I lost my temper and my cool, and scolded him and yelled at him, and from there things only got worse.

Then one of his business trips, my husband got me this really neat book of handling kids. It was a simple book and not preachy like the others I’d read. It laid out some really simple procedures for dealing with everyday problems with kids. I wasn’t sure if the suggestions listed in the book would work, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?

So the next time my son went ballistic on me, I held him in my arms (while ensuring that there was no way he could hit me and injure me seriously) and spoke to him in a low, authoritative, firm but comforting tone of voice. I asked him what was bothering him and explained that screaming and throwing about toys and stuff would only harm him. To my complete amazement, his screams decreased in tempo and then finally quietened down.

Apparently, all he wanted was someone to play with. You see, he has no siblings so he gets bored when I get busy in my work. After I had a mother-to-son chat, I explained to him that I needed a few minutes to wrap up what I was doing, and would be with him soon. And lo and behold, it worked. He waited patiently – for a brief while – and then was thrilled when I gave him all my attention and played with him till he drifted off to sleep.

So here are some helpful tips I’ve learnt from actual experience:
- Don’t lose your cool and scream back at your child.
- If the tantrum is getting to you, just take a few deep breaths and try to understand your child’s problem or demand. Most likely, all he/she wants is some attention.
- Hold your child and show plenty of affection. Reassure him/her.
- Don’t tower over your child and look down at him. Kneel down/squat on the floor and come to an eye-to-eye level. Trust me, eye contact always works.
- Talk in a calm and soothing voice to your child. Maintaining eye contact. Be firm but comforting.
- If the demand is unreasonable, then explain to your child why you cannot give in. He may not understand what you’re saying, but he will know that there is a good reason there.